kaffekane's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Jeremy the Giraffe 6]

You look very capable of doing more than shorts.

And I'd love to see some decent stuff as a result.

Don't mind my rating on this review too much, but I'm rather personally outspoken about the ending of this short.
Ah well, at least you could say that he died of an OD cocktail on all that crap, so that you can move on.

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Anyway...I thought that I'd give this a peek, and I'll say from seeing this that you definitely have a style for your animation, so build on it.

Just...uh...no retarded-I-I mean--different characters unless they absolutely have to be, hm?

-Kaffe Kane, loljudge Productions

[Windows Remix Animated]

Okay. *pops knuckles*

My biggest beef with this is not that it was made in Powerpoint, but rather that it was...terribly, terribly off-sync. And don't give me that 'animutation' nonsense, either. That's no excuse for not lining up with the audio...or maybe it is, but it's *not* a very good one.

I couldn't tell you how else to make this better, in all honesty. I'll have to give myself a Pr-r-r-r-r-r-r-romotion!

-Kaffe Kane, loljudge Productions

[Lord Xavier Annoying]

This...I loved it.

I don't care that it was sticks. I don't care that it's revenge.

It's very well-executed in its style, and it's very well-plotted revenge.

Too bad that guy's been dead on NG for a year. Ah well, who needs that guy, when he was probably part of the Kitty Krew, what with his RIP Billy Mays (gag-choke) entry, for all I'd know.

Enough has been said, since nothing else can cover it.

[Adam Versus Kevin]

*QUINTUPLE FACEPALM*

This can't possibly be based on real events, what are you--yet another talentless 12-year old? I'm really, REALLY tired of seeing this kind of nonsense make it in. This is the spam that shouldn't be, since it's not artful, and it's not funny in any way; it's childish venting without any skill behind it.

This is a poor excuse of an animation, and an even poorer excuse at stick figure violence. The music doesn't make it "cool", either. I can only shake my head, while five other people behind me do the classic "Picard Facepalm".

There is no timeline control WHATSOEVER, so it just loops without end. At least my head's not hemorrhaging from the music, so I can still type this review out in a rough semblance of peace.

There isn't anything decent about this. Not even for being a first entry.

nevan360 responds:

ok i understand you don't like it... but spam?
this is my first submission, so it can't be "spam".
This is NOT like the clock thingy series or the [KK] or what they are called... that seriously just spam...

About the time line, this was made in Toon Boom Studios, not in Flash... i dont have flash either... so i can't make a time line.

About my age, i just turned 15.

And i watched your submission... its really not that much better...

And i don't know what you mean by "the music don't make it cool"? I like the song and i thought i fitted in. What else song should i pick? The Pokemon theme song?

[gone fishin 2]

Very interesting use of special effects.

Doesn't look bad. It's well animated, and the sound doesn't drive me crazy.

Kind of a short loop, but that's alright.

[Chance!]

Should come with a mild seizure warning.

And perhaps some timeline control.

Other than that, it doesn't look bad.

[carnage vs mario]

AAARGH!!!

If you're going to let it loop, seriously PUT A PRELOADER ON IT TO MAKE IT STOP!!!

The sounds were for the most part too loud, so I had to exit out and come back before reviewing, due to the noise driving me insane.

I don't have anything else nicer than that to say.

[-[KK] Eric Clapton Sucks]

Thank you for the seizure warning.

Though...I'm probably going to have to examine that nonsense about Eric Clapton, and why his music "sucks so bad", if I'm ever going to get any sort of joke or reference to this...

This actually amused me a bit. Just a bit.

[Dailytoon # 401]

Not bad for spam, actually.

I can see that the "adam ant" one was very well looped.

The Outcast Labs short was okay, but--as implied--short.

I lol'd at the scammer one.

[The Spider...]

The Itsy Bitsy Spider...

To farts and bad saxophone notes.

Climbed up a gutter pipe and halfway there he gloats.

Then came a random water wash and flooded out the him.

And the spider waited for the sun before he tried again.

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Meh. I just wrote all that to the normal tune of that stupid little nursery rhyme.